I read this quote the other day and thought that nothing could possibly apply more to my life right now. I am that person who wants to do absolutely everything.
It’s now becoming quite a stereotypical me thing to have some new, crazy idea every couple of weeks. Something that I want to achieve, that I want to do, that I want to be the best at.
I’m going to run my lingerie business; I’m going to be a yoga teacher; I’m going to read 100 books this year; I’m going to be a freelance journalist; I’m going to entirely redecorate the house; I’m going to travel the world; I’m going to have the most beautiful garden; I’m going to entirely plan my own wedding.
These are just a few of the many, many ideas I’ve had recently. Some of them are achievable and believable, others not so much. But there’s one definite: they’re not all achievable at the same time. Not on top of the fact that I also have a house to keep clean, friends and family to see, Brownies to run…a full time job.
It’s quite a common problem that our generation of Millennials has. Apparently a third of us have a side job. And yet we’re billed as lazy. I think the problem is that we’re seen to be on social media all the time so that can’t mesh with the fact that we’re actually busy. Running multiple social media accounts, juggling an online identity alongside an IRL one.
Everything has to have value. I find it difficult to spend an evening or day not being productive. If I have some downtime, my mind will be spinning between which “hobby” will make the best use of that time. Should I be blogging to keep up my online persona? Should I be reading in order to reach my goals? Should I spend time sewing so I can get better at it and one day make it a job? Should I be doing yoga in an attempt at relaxation and to get better at it? Should I be exercising to make sure my body is healthy?
And that’s the crux of the matter: everything for me has to be with an aim of bettering myself. If Ben puts something on the TV we’ve seen before, I’ll tell him to turn it over because there’s “no point” – what can I get out of this? I struggle to spend time not being switched on and trying to improve.
But it’s exhausting. I have days where I crash. I don’t get dressed, I don’t eat the right food, and I don’t do anything except faff on the internet. Then I feel guilty, when actually I shouldn’t – everyone needs downtime and I only seem to allow myself it when I crash.
So this is one of my new mantras to try to remember:
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