Next week, I’ll no longer be a Miss. I wouldn’t call it a scary thought, more like an “unnerving” thought. That’s been my word lately – along with apprehensive. People keep asking me if I’m nervous and I’m not entirely sure I am. It’s a very weird feeling, knowing that all the planning will finally be over and the big day will be here before I know it.
But at the end of the day, what’s really going to change? My name will – I’m taking Ben’s surname, but keeping Thomas as a middle name, and I’ll still be retaining Sian Thomas as my “online” name. I think it’ll give me some inkling of privacy on the internet, although I’m under no illusions! The only other thing that will change is that I’ll have no big day to plan for any more. To be honest, it’s almost a relief!
The last 18 months, I’ve felt like I have to be doing something all the time. I mean, I feel like that anyway, whether or not there’s a wedding to plan – but the weird thing about wedding planning is that it comes in stages. There was the initial booking process where it all felt like GO GO GO to get everything booked before it was too late. Then there was the funny stage where things were booked but it was too early to make final decisions and too early to gather too much decor and detailing. And suddenly we were less than 100 days to go and it was time to get those details sorted! The last few weeks now have been all about paying final bills and getting those cranes finished – we’re now over the amount we need after I found a bag donated by a friend had ended up in the bedroom bin (not naming any names…Ben…).
Now it’s just 12 days away (almost single figures!) and I haven’t dissolved into a pile of anxiety sobbing on the floor like I fully expected I would. I’ve done a lot of the organisation myself and have tried my utmost not to become a Bridezilla (I haven’t, have I?!), so I was imagining it would get to this time and I’d be totally overwhelmed by it all. But I think it’s helping that we’ve kept it (relatively!) small – the day time is mainly family with close friends – and that I just keep remembering: it’s just one day, it’s just one day. Because at the end of the day, all I’ve done is organise a party!
I’m under no illusions that something will go wrong – I mean, it can’t all go right! – but I’m just hoping it won’t be something big. If something gets missed or forgotten, is anyone really going to notice? And if I fall down the aisle, well, it’s just friends and family and they already know what I’m like!
Last weekend was my hen party and I’m still buzzing over it – I’ll have a WHOLE post about it sometime because it was just so wonderful and so me, as well as utterly exhausting! Having the focus all on you for an entire weekend is hard work! But let me tease you with the fact that we had yoga sessions on a lawn in the sun, a Great Gatsby themed afternoon tea (with “Bra Pong”!), a picnic in York’s Museum Gardens, a visit to an escape room (from which we didn’t escape!), Mr and Mrs games that had been organised in advance, Mickey ear-decorating, and even more. Anyway, that’s for another day!
So, it’s next week – not a lot will change and I’m not yet feeling all that nervous. It’s not how I thought I’d feel but I’m so excited for the day to come! It’s pretty much now out of my hands how it goes, so it means trusting everyone and everything.
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