So that feels a little strange to type, considering that the little person that I’m introducing is now 2.5 years old! But thanks to Covid and Archie himself absolutely taking our lives by storm, I stopped blogging before he was born so he never got an introduction. I did, however, write up his birth story just like I did Emmy’s birth story and shared it in a home birth Facebook group that I was part of at the time (yep, home birth! Read on for more!). So luckily, I had it all saved and ready for this blog post with just a few tweaks to make it more relevant nearly 3 years later!
Archie Oliver – born at home on Saturday 18th December 4.13am, weighing 8lb 1oz
Second baby
Planned home birth in the water
Actual home birth in the water
Known boy
8lb 1oz
39 weeks
The pregnancy and birth of our daughter in March 2019 was a fairly straightforward hospital birth using hypnobirthing along with gas & air. I went very quickly from 6-10cm (just in the walk down the corridor!) but got stuck pushing for 5 hours before needing a ventouse delivery with an episiotomy.
When we were pregnant with Emmy and doing hypnobirthing, the topic of homebirth had actually come up as being a very viable option for births, especially for second timers. We’d briefly considered it the first time but decided against it. This time, after my cousin’s partner had a home birth earlier in the year that Archie was born that sounded amazing, we decided we’d try for one too and luckily were told we were good candidates for it with my previous birth, even with the interventions.
I was due Christmas day but hoping for a bit early, so was really pleased when I woke up around 5.30am on the 17th December with mild cramping pains happening every 10 minutes or so. I laid in bed waiting for Ben to wake up before mentioning it to him because after a few days of waking up with minor aches, I wasn’t sure he’d believe me yet! With our first, my waters breaking in bed had been the first sign so even I was doubting myself this time! I decided to send him off to work (30 mins away) as they were so mild that I wasn’t sure they wouldn’t fizzle out yet, but I also rang my mum to have her on standby for childcare later that day. Our daughter Emmy came up and joined us in bed where we told her that Archie might “pop out” today (as she had been describing it to us!) so she was going for a sleepover.
Emmy and I spent the morning wrapping Christmas presents (glad we did!) and went for a little walk while I continued having mild contractions irregularly between 6 and 12 minutes apart. When they got slightly more intense and closer together while we ate lunch, I rang Ben to ask him to start thinking about heading home and asked my mum to set off too but with no rush.
I rang the labour ward at this point as my midwife had recommended calling when I was having 2 contractions in 10 minutes because of where we live and to see what the homebirth service was like that day – I was so so happy when they told me that the service was on from 4pm, but if I needed anyone sooner, they could probably manage a reshuffle.
Once Ben was back, he started setting up the birth pool we’d hired, then my mum arrived to take Emmy away about 3pm – quite an emotional moment as I knew next time I’d see her, she would be a big sister!
During the afternoon and into the evening, we chilled watching some TV while I laboured, still mildly and slowly, so I decided to get into action to try and get things moving a bit more quickly with some cat-cow yoga poses and crab walking up and down the stairs. This helped a bit so we decided to ring the labour ward around 7.30pm to send someone out. Our first midwife called back shortly after to let us know she was on her way and would be about 30 minutes, and the second would join her about 30 minutes later as she was further away. Still having contractions every 5-6 minutes, this was good timing for us.
Catherine arrived first and got to work setting up their space, watching me through a few contractions and asking questions here and there, and she checked a few things like blood pressure and pulse but said she would hold off for now on a cervix check. Kerry arrived shortly after and also watched a few contractions. At this point, they explained that they thought I wasn’t in fully established labour yet (which I agreed with) but asked whether I’d like a VE to check dilation. I’d already expressed my concerns about not being far enough along to keep them there, so they didn’t want to get me down if I wasn’t very far along, but I decided I wanted a gauge on it so happily consented to a VE on the sofa, which was a strange experience! Luckily I know from last time that I’m not particularly phased by VEs, so it didn’t bother me much, and I was pleased to hear I was 3-4cm but the midwife had a slightly puzzled look. She asked if she could keep her hand in through the next contraction as she said I felt very stretchy, so I consented to this, then she announced that during that contraction, I’d stretched up to 8cm, then back down to about 4cm again afterwards, and that she had also felt a lot of hair! She could feel my waters bulging very precariously, and explained that once they went – which could be with any contraction – it was likely that things would happen very quickly!
With our location and having just had a VE (which she said was more likely to irritate things so may have pushed me slightly more towards waters breaking), they were wary to leave so said they would stick around a bit. At this point, we decided to attach my TENS machine, which worked really nicely to take the edge off and I went off to the kitchen where I was apparently happiest to labour with my head on the cool quartz worktop while they got the pool filled and ready with my husband, and quietly chatted in the living room.
This was around 8.30-9pm, and contractions still continued at the same rate with only a small increase in intensity for the next couple of hours while I wandered around the kitchen and bounced on my birth ball. So my husband and I decided to take on the stairs for a bit, but also had a little rest in our bedroom too where things seemed to slow slightly. We came down and the midwives suggested a go in the pool as they explained that if I wasn’t in established labour, things would likely slow more so we would know better. They respected my wishes for not too many examinations, and even suggested that they didn’t examine me again then. So I jumped in the pool and had a lovely little relax…except the contractions were down to 1 in every 10 minutes again, so not established labour at all! This caused a slight dilemma though for the midwives who had been on shift all day as they didn’t want to leave but were also pretty tired, and sitting in a darkened room wasn’t helping them! After some advice from the labour ward, we had a couple of options – they could leave, have a little rest at home and come back when I was more established; or we could go upstairs and try and have our own rest in bed while they caught a quick nap on our sofa. They were clearly more comfortable with the second option, which we agreed with, so off we went up to bed where I laid on my side with a peanut ball between my legs while Ben managed to get about an hour’s sleep. At this point, we hadn’t bothered putting the TENS machine back on after getting out the water, but I had a hot water bottle against my back where I was feeling most of the pressure. At first this was fine, but towards the end of the hour I was really starting to feel those contractions, and I really felt the lack of the TENS machine then!
At this point, I went for a wee and realised that I was bleeding a little, so with the much more intense contractions (which I was struggling to breathe through) and this, we decided to head downstairs. I was caught by a really intense contraction on the stairs so kneeled down and went with it, at which point the midwife appeared to check on me and seemed very happy that things were progressing, and said the blood was the right sign as it was good and sticky (I believe it was my bloody show).
Back downstairs, we got the TENS machine back on (hooray!) while they rewarmed the birth pool. Then with a really intense contraction, there was a sudden audible POP as my waters burst all over the kitchen. I gave a shout as I was convinced his head was coming out already (I wish!) and the midwives came running with towels to clean up! They weren’t sure whether my waters were slightly tinged in colour which technically would have meant a possible transfer to hospital, but they did say they probably wouldn’t have bothered as they knew I would go quickly now. Luckily, they agreed it was likely just the lighting as when my waters continued to leak, they were nice and clear.
At this point, they noticed the purple line on my lower back/bottom which I thought was super interesting as I’d heard all about it but wasn’t sure if it was true, and they said this was a good sign that I was almost ready! She also asked if I wanted a VE to see where he was at, which I was pretty happy for at this point – and she magically performed this with me standing somehow and instantly said: “Oh yes, he’s right there!”
The next few contractions were definitely on the pushy side, so Ben and the midwives hurried with getting the pool to the right temperature then I hopped in. The water was pretty awesome and within a couple of contractions, I started to push. With Emmy, I’d been pushing for ages but never felt the “ring of fire” as she was back to back and pretty firmly stuck, so this was something new and I exclaimed: “Oh, THAT’S why they call it the ring of fire!” It took around 7 or 8 contractions as he slowly came round the bend, and with each one, I used my pelvic floor to hold him in place so he didn’t slip back up (which I noticed the midwives commenting on, and which gave me a push to keep going like that!), and I practised down breathing as much as possible rather than making too much noise. I used Ben’s hands and then legs over the side of the pool to hold onto, and I did worry a little that I might have bruised his legs with my grip, but also tried to remember to keep my face soft and relaxed which I think really helped. I also requested a cold flannel at this point as it was hot work pushing in the pool! With each pushing contraction, I reached down to feel him and could feel more and more of his head each time – at one point, I did wonder how I could stretch any more to get what I could feel of his head behind the perineum out of there, I was sure it would all just burst! The midwives encouraged me on though and told me I was doing a great job doing it slowly as it was reducing the risk of tears – it was really tough though as that ring of fire didn’t subside as I held him in place between each contraction! When he was crowning and so close to full head out, the midwives got Ben to take a picture of the mirror under the water and show it to me so I could see, which spurred me into the next push where his head arrived! Then with one final push at 4.13am, I felt him turning and his body slide out into the water, where the midwives encouraged me to catch him myself – something I’d wanted to do but had forgotten to mention to them!
I was so elated to catch him and pull him out of the water, that I greeted him with “Hello princess!”, my nickname for Emmy, even though I knew he was a boy – so had to apologise to him straight away! He had the cord around the back of his neck like a scarf, so one of the midwives scooped it off him quickly and he was able to come up to my chest where we stayed in the water for a little bit. He cried instantly on coming out of the water – he definitely has a voice! (A note from 2024: wow, wasn’t that ever true!!) I was really surprised at the lack of blood in the pool at this point as I’d heard it can turn the water almost red, and the midwives later said it was one of the least amounts of blood loss they’d seen at a birth recently which was quite different to Emmy’s birth where I was apparently very close to hemorrhaging. He did however instantly poo in the pool upon birth (which Emmy had actually predicted he would do and thought was absolutely hilarious when she found out later!), then later twice on me when I was sat wrapped in towels on the sofa!
We decided to get out and onto the sofa to await the placenta. I was absolutely over the moon when he managed to latch on to feed, only for a few minutes, but Emmy didn’t latch at all immediately after birth (or for a long time following – we had a lot of feeding issues in the first couple of weeks). I wanted a physiological third stage so we were waiting for some more urges to push the placenta out, but they didn’t seem to come, so the midwives suggested I try squatting over a bucket and seeing what happened. The cord had been attached for around an hour (again, so much better than Emmy’s birth where it was clamped within seconds) and had turned white, so Ben made the decision to cut it. They then brought a bucket and with one little push, it plopped out intact – so that was nice and easy! We’d ordered a cord tie but it didn’t arrive in time, so the midwives offered to clamp the cord but leave it fairly long, then the next day when one came to do the new baby check, she brought a cord tie that the other had crocheted overnight for us!
While Ben held Archie skin to skin, the midwives checked me over – I had one small 2nd degree tear and a tiny graze. They decided not to stitch me up which I was really glad of as I really didn’t want stitches this time!
They then helped us upstairs to bed where Archie latched on for another feed at around 6am then went down in his Next To Me while we got a couple of hours of rest. It was such a straightforward birth and a fantastic experience with midwives who were so intuitive – I still can’t quite believe I gave birth with no pain relief in my dining room!!
The following days and weeks (…months, years!) weren’t quite so straightforward (are they ever?!), with a whole host of feeding and reflux issues. I’ll go into detail on these more another day (as this is long enough!), but we soon discovered he had a pretty severe tongue tie, and a lot later discovered some allergies which were contributing to the reflux. Like I said, that’s more stories for more days!
